Monday, December 3, 2012

Stuff a Stocking....for real

I admit it: I am a Christmas stocking snob.

I expect (not a good word for Christmas, let's face it) the same well thought out stocking, akin to those I give. Each one, carefully stuffed with age appropriate, personality inspired goodies; funny, smart, quirky, adorable.....yes, sure. They also contain your usual array of staples: toothbrushes, floss, lip balm, bandaids.


And this is big.

My bandaids? Specific for each person. Last year, for example, Hubs, a huge bacon fan received, that's right, bacon bandaids. Shocked they make them? I kinda was. Thrilled? Absolutely.

So this year, having a little trouble (already, right out of the gate) finding things that either a, my X won't get my son, b, I won't hate having in the house, and c, something totally thoughtless and boring, I hit the blogs, websites, Pintrest, googled, yahoo' it, I scoured it.

And............found all the same things.


I will not, under any circumstances, put ammo in stockings. Okay. Fine. I don't need to. J doesn't hunt, the world is not going to end soon enough for him to have purchased a weapon; in fact, the only weapon to which we lay claim? So antique the only thing it might do is blow up in our hands. Plus, I think that's stupid.

Hey, just my opinion.

Also not including? Batteries, socks, oranges, iTune cards, gift cards of any kind, pencils (since I've penciled us to hell and back - need one? drop by), perfume, underwear - seriously, who truly wants to open undies at the table, or an entire stocking of candy. Our dentist bill is outstanding with four kids anyway, no need to encourage higher ones.

My top:

Zombie beef jerky *Hubs, a HUGE Zombie guy, could have an array of Zombie inspired gum, mints, candy, bandaids*

Moose iPhone stand

Magnets that look like knives thrown into the fridge (or other cool magnets, conversational pieces, if you will)

Nail polish (obviously, not for the boys)

Giant candy lollipop, old school style

Blow up, wearable unicorn horn (for my child with a hysterical unicorn thing going)

Tidly winks - hey, it's the closest our ten year old will come to beer pong for a long time

Cool leg warmers (for the baby)

Red Wing Boot Oil (for hubs, who's bottle is apparently older than I am)

Shoe polish

Shoe polish brush

Mini Lego kits (yes, everyone save for Screech gets one)

Corn on the cob holders, in some weird funky design - daschunds, pigs, cows....

An item with a fave character on it - ex: my guy's getting the Animal from the  muppets cereal bowl

Something to do with an inside joke - not a dirty one (necessarily...:)

Car wash coupons

Wind up toys that walk

Sling shot fuzzy chickens - granted, they're dog toys, but the three older kids will love love love aiming them at each other, playing with the dog...they were a dollar!

Lilly Pulitzer anything. Oh. Wait. That's just for me.

Funky bandaids (I love the crime scene do not cross! ones I found!)



Mini Rubix cube - (think: Target, $1 bins, they have moose on them!)

Clown nose


Baking spatula's

Rubber gloves with the cuffs, flowers, patterns....(Homegoods, TJMaxx...)

Now, having said this, I am sort of worried, in a perhaps, kind of concerned, not-staying-up-at-night-thinking-about-it kind of way, but the it's-crossed-my-mind kind of way that my stocking won't quite measure up to the ones I'm packing.

Good thing I'm a firm believer in the It's The Thought That Counts kind of Christmas Gal. No matter what, (and I've received some weird things) he's always thinking, that one.